12 Things No One Told Us About Parenting
1. You will finally get that phrase from your parents - You will understand when you become a parent. It is hard to understand this phrase when you are young, but once you are in their shoes you instantly get it. It is hard being a parent and it is as hard to explain this to your child - we do not have any idea how hard it is.
2. You will accidentally hurt your child and the guilt will be unbearable. Kids are unpredictable, you turn your back for one second and there they are, already crying because they fell down to their face or they get so uncontrollable that you spanked them with a stick or a hanger or a slipper. I opened this up to my psychiatrist and he said that it is ok that the kids get hurt sometimes, or you spank them sometimes, this will make them stronger. And as parents, we get tired and we lose control of our reactions and its ok, corporal punishment for the kids is ok as long as you have it in control and don't really hurt them and then sit them down after and talk about why you did what you did.
3. You will channel your own parents. You may not realize it at first as it will be a slow progression, but you will sometimes catch yourself saying things like "If you don't stop crying, I will give you something to really cry about". It will shock you, you have become your mother or your father.
4. You will become a baby interpreter. You will be the only one who can understand your baby from the moment they were born up to when they are toddlers who are learning to talk. You will know the meaning of their cries, if it is just a whine or an owie cry.
5. Your life will completely change. You will discover that you have ninja skills - you will learn how to sneak out of the bed and then out of the room while the baby sleeps, so you can do some chores which you will do very quietly as to not wake them up.
6. You will hold off spending for yourself, but not for your child. This happens to me all the time, I rarely buy things for myself anymore, I'd rather get something for my 2 boys.
7. Other people's kids might annoy you. You deal with a lot of tantrums, meltdowns, puke, and whining with your kids, so your tolerance level will be non-existent towards other kids.
8. You will worry all the time. When they were newborns, you will worry if they are still breathing in their sleep, when they get bigger you will worry if they are eating healthy enough, when they go to school, you will worry if they are safe when you leave them there, and so on. There will never be a moment that you are not worried about something.
9. Parenting can be lonely. No one ever tells you that parenting can insanely get lonely. It doesn't matter if you are a Stay-at-home mom or a "working-mom" (this is in quotations because all moms are working moms), your almost completely gone free time will always be consumed by taking care of your kids and it will be almost impossible to meet or talk to your adult friends. That is why it is very important to give time for this, even if it is just a talk over a cup of coffee with a friend.
10. Your marriage will never be the same. Having kids can make it impossible to find time alone together. Initially you will try to do date nights at home while your kids sleep, but you will eventually find it exhausting to even hold an adult conversation and just wants to sit there quietly while browsing your phone.
11. Parenting involves so much heartbreak. Missed milestones, skinning their knees, not making it to the varsity, your heart will break over and over again. Everything that impacts your child will impact you 10x more. You will feel every rejection, every sadness, every disappointment your child will experience and it will break your heart. Even the good things, their first day of school, their first best friend, graduation, heading to college. Just thinking about it now makes my heart drop.
12. Life changes more than what you expect. Your priorities will change, your plans will change. What you will plan from now on will always be circled around your family.
Even though it can be maddening at times, parenting is still and always will be the most rewarding experiences in life. You will both love and hate every stage of it. No matter what, just enjoy every second of it, they grow fast right before your eyes.
Love,
Karla
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